Consistency is key
Men,
In a world that tends to have a profound impact through social influence, how are you becoming a part of the direction of it? As I sit and think about my week on Sunday afternoons it’s a question that has to be answered. Do I have a consistency in showing up that would suggest that I care? Have I built the necessary trust to have meaningful conversations? Is there a rhythm of showing up that provides opportunity? Am I personally going the same direction in my own self disciplines?
I know as a husband, a dad of 4 young kids, a ministry leader, and a guy who is devoted to the local church, the commitments I questioned above are nearly impossible to carry out perfectly. So, what do we do? The words of Tom Matukewicz echoed through my head as I begin to write this post “The greatest success strategy that we have is to care”.
It’s somewhat of a layup at home to say that I care, but where am I truly taking them? Is there a direction to where I’m going? As a novice in home discipleship, it’s a consideration I come back to often. It’s an opportunity to have a true north in my efforts to raise up disciples in my home. Do the kids know what to expect from their dad? How about my wife? Will they get a real commitment or one that’s continuously compromised. I want to communicate those things to my family because they need to see follow through and a prioritization of them in my life. It also provides an opportunity for an apology when a barrier comes in our way in following through. Your dad needs grace just like you do. I also think there's a freedom to creating trust, favor, love, and care. The spontaneity of everyday life provides you opportunity to say I love you, I see you, and I care. Being committed to the message you send is at the heart of it, whether its scheduled, or organic. The words you use can be used to your benefit, or downfall. I find myself using harsh words at times to get quick responses. I haven’t yet figured out the balance of respect of authority and gracious coaxing. The words of Eph 4:29 have historically been my guide:
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Eph 4:29
Choose those words wisely! Building up and giving grace don’t come naturally!
In regard to those commitments outside of my home, care has to be the driver. When committing to a regular meeting for bible study or theological conversation I ask myself the primary question, “Do you care?”. Not that every evangelical opportunity doesn’t deserve some form of care, you simply can’t devote your concern and focus to every effort. The Holy Spirit is intimately pursued in your personal affections about care, because it cultivates and grows your heart for a specific people, or population. Prayerlessness typically doesn’t lead to a deepening concern. After arriving at a genuine care, the question to consider is “what do I have the capacity for without neglecting my established priorities?”. Ministry is costly and will deprioritize a number of worldly pursuits of comfort and entertainment in your life. Not to neglect your well-being, but in a culture that rarely overspends on selflessness it something to challenge yourself to consider. I’m pointing directly at the intentions of discipling in the next few sentences. When you look back on the people that made the most significant impact on your life, can you offer the same time? This is obviously a difficult thing to measure as impact comes in different forms. Whatever the perceived commitment is, do you have the space, and conviction to do it a year at a time? 10 years?
Consistency is one of those virtues that holds its weight it most rooms. Who are you? What will the everyday life decisions say about who you are? When we use the term “direction” what would be said about your route?
A man who’s devoted to discipling has to say it with their life every week of the year. Are you looking more and more like Jesus as you assist in leading people to look more and more like Jesus?
This passage is always helpful in thinking through your life as a minister of the gospel:
14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.
2 Cor 5:14-20
- Nick Grassi, CDO